The Successful Coach

Susan Ibitz

What kind of a coach are you, how do people see you and what does your client say about you and your work?

Know and understand your audience, how they act, how they perceive things, how they communicate. Adjust based on who and what kind of client you are handling and help that person avoid resistance.

In order for your audience to believe what you teach, believe in what you do, and love what you do first.

Until you decide who you are and who you want to become, you cannot coach someone. Your work and word are going to go beyond yourself. You never know who is talking with whom. The only thing that you have is integrity.

As a coach, you don’t need to know everything. You just need to know your turf, know your path, know how to get to your destination, and always give your best in your chosen path.

Quick Bio:

Today’s guest is Susan Ibitz, a Human Behavior Hacker, Lead Researcher, and Trainer at the Human Behavior Lab. Being born with dyslexia, Susan learned communication in a completely different way.

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Susan Ibitz 0:02

How I helped you, what I add to your people in your company, and what I did for you. If you need to talk about me to another person, I want to hear what you said about me. And customers freak out like, "What is wrong with you?!" and I am like "No" if you need to introduce me to somebody else, tell me what you want to say about me. Tell me what I did for you, and tell me what I fixed for you. And that's what I learned about myself.

Doug Holt 0:30

Hi, everyone. Thank you for joining us. Now I want you to sit back and imagine that you got a new superpower. Now the superpower allows you to read people like a book. I mean, read them and know what they're thinking and how they're acting what's going on. Now my special guest today has the only e-learning platform that specializes in human behavior. As you would say, the site is for geeks, the curious, and behavior experts. It's a coach only invitation and a multilingual platform where you can come and learn this actual superpower. So my special guest today is Susan Ibitz. Susan, thank you so much for being here.

Susan Ibitz 1:08

That person you're describing looks so cool. Thank you. Now I can leave. You can do this by yourself. I always say that a couple of times, but it's nice when people talk about my background.

Doug Holt 1:19

Well, I mean, it's a great background; you and I have talked a couple of times now at this point before recording this and previously. Each time I've talked to you as someone who's been in the coaching world for over 20 years, I always think, "Wow, we should start these conversations in the morning my time because we can always keep going on" and such an interesting story in life that you've led. But before we get into the questions I have, why don't you give the listeners a little background on what you do and how you got started.

Susan Ibitz 1:52

Long story short, I fell so many times that my skin gets so thick. My dad, whenever I didn't get up from the floor, he pulled me from the pants slap in the back of my head, and he's like, "Men up and go and do it." I always say you have to kind of like the ones you have amazing parents who get you out of bed every time that you do run oh you don't have little luck of having the right family you pick up your family life I have the two of them's I have amazing parents and an amazing family that I adopt. I fail badly because everything I want to be in life will get crushed when I am 18. I wanted to be a psychologist, a Ph.D. in psychology by the age of 30, and become the most badass FBI interrogator and profiler, and I ended up being highly dyslexic. So I needed to take the long ride to get where I am today.

So instead of waiting for life to give me a chance, what I did is, I knocked on the door of every special person in the world doing behavior for all of them. I studied with all of them. The only one I didn't have the chance to study because he died before I knocked on his door was Robert Kirschner; he was the one who meant hands on the beat of the documentary and the Netflix is done. It's about the person who did the first behavioral unit for the FBI. He interviews all the serial killers interested in interviewing and is the only person they didn't have the chance to study. But besides that, I have it all on my cell phone; I can call them when we become friends because most of them say, "If after three years you are still stalking me, you must be worth training."

Doug Holt 3:35

I love that.

Susan Ibitz 3:36

Yeah. So you can be consistent without being weird. I was like, "I appreciate your time, just a friendly reminder that I respect you, and I read all your books. But really, I read all the books of all the people that I went to train with all the TED talk what they write, and suddenly, a new article came up like "Hey, you know what, I love the article you did and based on and explain why I like it" and what I want to learn from that. And most of them like, "You know what, I give up, just stop right into me, I'm gonna train you, but just stop it." So that's how I become who I am.

Doug Holt 4:15

Fantastic. Who you are, talk a little bit if you can, and know these answers, so it's hard to ask, but what is it that you do currently?

Susan Ibitz 4:26

When people say, "Who are your markets?" and my question is, who doesn't need to know how to communicate? We have coaches as an audience. So I am going to narrow your audience to only you. You're a coach, and you're in front of giving a keynote speaking or training you have from 1200 people to 10 people. Do you know how your audience is feeling about you? One of the things that I do is to always standardize my slides. It's all with the same slides but never the same presentation. Why? Because I'm looking at your face. Looking at how your face is reacting, I look at how your arms are going and how your body reacts. I look at how to get dopamine. Most people think that we are bad; actually, we wake up your brain. So I work with my audience based on the audience. As a coach, you need to be reading who your training is; this is like any relationship is not going to work if we both do not put it together. So my work as a coach, in your work as a coach is to understand your audience; you will teach them something new. But you need to bring that person to avoid resistance.

The person is not a morning person, maybe you need to coach and later, internet coaching most coaches are afraid of internet learning, what is better people can teach in their own time, they can repeat the coaching as many times as they want, and they have a better result. So who has the resistance, the coach, or the students? You need to find out about yourself and, after that, learn about the resistance of others. Most of my deals when I need to coach and train people is; First, I need to talk to the person I need to be coaching on the top of the pyramid because the manager needs to be trained. So we can agree on what is going to be the training for the race. And after that, I need to know what time is better for that person to train. And like what you are talking about? six o'clock in the morning, or 9 pm, is what the other person feels is more productive. And that's what has been one of my key breakpoints when I coach people when I make you feel comfortable. And sometimes I've been even coaching with a glass of wine at 9 pm. Like, "Tell me about it." And we go to the process and at the end of the coaching like this has been fun, and I learned too.

Doug Holt 6:51

Beautiful. Coaching with a glass of wine, I'm sure many people can resonate with that desire to be able to do that.

Susan Ibitz 6:56

It's happy hour someplace in the world, so why not use it?

Doug Holt 6:57

Exactly. When I heard it in another interview when you were talking about how you said, "Hey, look, every day I get to do my hobby, and I have fun with it at every time." And I think many people who enter the coaching profession, especially those that are newer at it, do it because it is their passion. And sometimes along the ways you get more successful becomes more of a job. It becomes more routine, and they get to the struggle of it. How have you avoided that aspect of it?

Susan Ibitz 7:34

I've been really lucky to do what I love from an early age. Because my parents didn't give me money, they didn't give me a formal education but give me wings. And my dad says, "I wake up every morning, do what I love," and know what they do. So if you're a rich, depressed person, you've spent all your money and doctors. But if you are a poor, happy person, actually you don't need a psychologist. So actually you are avoiding spending a lot of money. So I always deal with the circumstances and be realistic. And I'm frugal because from where I'm coming from, and you learn to be frugal. I tried to do what I love. When you need to think, it is like the difference between a hobby, a passion, a job, and a career. I have four of them. I have my hobby, which pays my bills, I have a career that I take seriously, I can be fun, and we can have fun and go for drinks and joke by when I'm doing my job and do not get in my way.

Don't mess around with my job; don't mess around with my credentials; I work hard for 20 years where I am. So you can say whatever you want about me, but do not touch my job and do not touch my team. That's my family. That's the family I choose. My team is my family. And I gotta protect it all my life. And that's one of the things that people forget to do. This is my career because I am completely useless. Until you don't decide who you are and who you want to become how you're going to be delivering to someone. How you will coach, you're going to tell someone believes in what I'm saying if I don't believe it. I do believe in change. I do believe the failure is the best learning I have. Because it makes my skin thicker, I know when you're like sweet feedback, tell me what is wrong so I can fix it faster. I don't like feedback; I want the briefing. Maybe working for so many years and politics and hosting negotiators like okay, briefed me. Every time we have a meeting with the team, we used to be 19; we're now 21.

I asked my right hand what I could have done better to communicate with a team, and she says," Are you still going to ask me that every week?" I am like, "Yes, because I'm going almost 50, but it doesn't mean that I have all the answers." If you don't learn from your team, if you don't learn from your people, I missed the most today to make sense. The second brain, it's the second brain. It is called the guts, which happened here in your stomach, you have that feeling where people because I learned from my experience that I'm here for my peers because they helped me become better. I'm a better coach, and I'm a better trainer. I'm a better person, for the people who honestly criticize me and say, Let your weirdness go on doing this and doing that. That's what makes me who I am today.

Doug Holt 10:40

It's beautiful. We look at the cycle of life in the business; they mirror each other, I think, and what you're describing as maturity. Whereas, I think all of us go through a profession or career where we think, at some point now, maybe a second or two, but some people seem to get stuck there where you know, everything. That's the teenage phase, and as I said, it could be a second, or it could be for many people who get stuck in that teenage phase; I already know it all. And as soon as you hit that phase, we wouldn't want a teenager driving the car, right? So you don't want that in your careers.

Susan Ibitz 11:16

It's the reason why insurance is so expensive.

Doug Holt 11:18

It is, and I think it's an important thing to bring up here, especially to newer coaches coming through. And people in the coaching and counseling and the consulting world always want to be sharpening the saw-like you were doing with your team. How can I be better? You can also ask your clients or other people to be constantly growing and where to go in the next phases. And you and I talked before we hit a record about a certain South American journey both of us have taken separately in the spirit of growth and doing things like that. And I think that's important now if I can ask you some more questions.

Susan Ibitz 12:01

You can, I'm allowing you. You can remember, I'm linguistic, so I'm going to pick up on your words.

Doug Holt 12:08

You're great at it; you've already caught me twice. So you got me there. So with coaches coming out of COVID now, and a lot of people doing online, and doing zoom, but also email and text message becoming so heavy, it's easy for someone to say, "Well, great micro-expressions, I want to learn them because I want to know what people are thinking around me how to speak better." But most of my businesses correspond with people via email and text message; how does this behave, I'll call behavioral psychology if I can, how does this apply to kind of the modern-day means of communication?

Susan Ibitz 12:46

Only to be clear, I don't have any college degree. I failed college two times for my dyslexia. And I fell the third time because I was accepted to a master's in Manchester, and I dropped by myself because there was too much pressure. I wanna reply with a question for you and your audience. What was the last time that you dare to pick up your phone after six months after you make a coach and as your client, "How I helped you, what I add to your people in your company, and what I did for you, if you need to talk about me to another person, I want to hear what you were saying about me." And customers like freaked out? Like, "What is wrong with you?" I am like, "No," if you need to introduce me to somebody else, tell me what you want to say about me. Tell me what I did for you, and tell me what I fixed for you. And that's what I learned about myself, that most people are afraid to. And actually, I realized I am fixing problems that didn't. I didn't know I was fixing it. Like, okay, you tell me 90 days now, instead of taking me 90 days to understand my customer. Take me 90 seconds.

Why? Because now I know how to read their faces. I know how they intake information, process information, how they communicate, and what is proteomic. Now I know what their microexpression is not telling me there. The micro expression doesn't tell you how you lie; it's a GPS to where the emotions are happening. I know I need to show my hands to other people to show their hands. Now I can read an email and know if somebody says they are weak. If they asked you something like "They told me that we need to go," or "We told you we need to go," they would be somebody else making the decision. We are part of the decision. There are the signs, and you can call it a sign, which crap I don't care how you call it. The only thing I tell you is that they're like some of the things that I studied that are 5000 years old. Every interrogator is using them. My first two training for everyone is to watch interrogation of police making people confess they kill someone in 30 minutes. If that person can get that information and make the other person know they're confessing, they're going to spend their life in jail. Why can you not get what your customers need, you know why?

People don't lie to you; people don't hide anything from you. You're A; afraid to make the right questions, B; you want to make the right questions. We choose to pick up a lie. We don't want to be, but we choose to. So when you ask your customers what they need, have an open conversation. What is your problem? Do you want to sign a nondisclosure? Most of the time, when I have a customer, I'm like, "Do you want me to sign a nondisclosure? Because the question I'm going to ask you, they're going to make you uncomfortable." But let's be clear, like when you have a couple's marriage counseling, I need to know the dirt to know where I need to start looking for it. And I also need to know the bad apples in the group to make sure that Apple regrows and helps other groups. Another thing, when you're coaching, sometimes the most difficult part is to go through the transition part to evaluate a team like, ooh, hell, the problem is the person who hired me, not the team they have. How many times, Doug, There you are so like, Oh, my sales team is not working? Like "How many people do you have on your team? 25? None of them is working. You're the manager?"

Doug Holt 16:28

What's the common denominator there?

Susan Ibitz 16:30

Yeah, what is the common denominator? How do you have the conversation? Those are the conversations the news is. And I don't want to be offended because I was new at some point. The good news that I have come in from politics on my skin allows me to filter. You get offended? Next. Like, "Sir, if you have 25 people, what about instead of your team trying to understand you, you try to understand your team?" What if you do a simple exercise as again, let's make everybody take up the test. Let's determine who is introvert, extrovert, intuitive, and sense, who watched the forest? Who watched the tree? And who is afraid to talk and make inside the conversation and who's an extrovert. And let's start with you.

Tell me who you are; let's work with you. So it's not attacking the person who is playing with the person to the point that, Okay, wow, I didn't realize I was so different. So this is your team. That's how they act, that 's how they see. And that's where the problem is in communication. So do not be afraid to run behind the check. Because you can work, The only thing you can work on is yourself. Your name is going to be out there; you're not going to find advertising about me. My work is more multi month. I've been working in the middle of this crisis, and we grow our team. Why? I don't want to sound cocky because people who recommended says she's crazy that she gets things done. So she wants to get the things that go with this weirdo. They use another word, but I don't think we can be quick dips on the thing. SoI won't go to say it.

Doug Holt 16:40

We got a great editor. Billy is amazing.

Susan Ibitz 17:30

Good! Good to know. Does that make sense what I'm saying about like, your word and your work, you're worth, and your works will go beyond yourself? You never know who's going to be talking with whom. So the only thing that you need to have is integrity. We have a shield to help people; you don't have any right to manipulate the situation only to have a check. Sorry, but it's personal karma that I have that.

Doug Holt 18:45

Yeah.

Susan Ibitz 18:47

I'm tired of fixing somebody else's mistakes because they only read a book and they go for it. For the time on it, becoming an expert becomes good. I'm almost 50. I've been doing this for 20 years, and I don't label myself as an expert. Somebody else wants to say it great. My grandmother's both live until 100. So I still have around like 52 more years to piss some people off. And maybe when I die, I even allow somebody to put it in the tomb. She was an expert until then. I learned from everything I learned from you, Doug, talking to you today.

Doug Holt 19:24

It's fantastical. Thank you.

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Well, let's keep learning from you; we got you here as an expert. And that's me saying and not you.

Susan Ibitz 20:30

I should be interviewing you. So we should talk about you too.

Doug Holt 20:38

I did tell you it could be a two-way street, which maybe I should take back.

Susan Ibitz 20:44

Be aware of where you put it out there because the karma is going to come back.

Doug Holt 20:48

Exactly. Now you both you and I both like to play around. So with that being said, as a coach, where obviously, coaches just started out, and we all should be experts. I've studied persuasion, I've studied body language, nowhere, just very basic. And you're convincing me that it should be a deeper dive; you have your web portal; what kind of books or resources would you recommend a coach starting out when they're doing their own personal dive into this education?

Susan Ibitz 21:21

Okay, I'm going to talk only if you can see, you see those books?

Doug Holt 21:24

Yep, I do see them.

Susan Ibitz 21:26

Okay, it's only for one block that I'm going to be doing anything. I think there are 12 books. Those are from a serial killer to get decoded from AI; I'm going to be doing a woman here from AI. So I'm reading all the books and all the AI audiobooks that I can have. And after talking to you, I'm going to go for a walk on the beach, and we're going to be listened to easily two hours a night a book. Ah, it has a lot to do, what is your outcome.

Doug Holt 21:56

Okay.

Susan Ibitz 21:58

First of all, look for your call. You don't need to know all the things that I know to be a good coach; you need to know your turf. If you're coaching people how to ride a horse, you need to know about horses; you don't need to know about what language you are an accounting coach; you need to know all the laws happening in accounting. Now, in my case, last week, I was called a human polygraph, and was funny, and I put it on LinkedIn. It becomes a mess; everybody was like yes, no, yes, no. Anyway. So my job is to help people to understand others better. So has nothing to do with what has been my pad? What is your path? If you don't know, it's like you're going on vacation. First of all, you decide what your destination is, how you're going to get there, and what you're going to do when you get there. So if you want to be an accountant, learn everything happened in the account and be the expert that everybody was like, "Oh my god, Susan is gonna know everything on an accountant, I need to talk to her because she's going to be on top of things that I don't know," if you're a coach and training or she is going to be on top of everything that is diet.

So if you're a coach and doctors, she's going on top. So make sure that you follow and make your own tribe. In my case, I studied with Mossad polygraph interrogators. Interrogators from people who were one time or I decide to go to the corporate. But this doesn't mean that everybody needs to do that. You need to know the basics, and you can learn the basics. My only advice is to be really careful who you pick the brain on. I've seen in the last four months, a lot of people who found months ago they didn't know body language, micro-expressions, or behavior and now they are certified in you. So be careful what under certification the people are doing, where they do, everybody's free to talk. I want to see the certification. Sorry, but I do have that. And I x expand and expect that people do the same. Because it's cheaper, it doesn't matter if it is better.

So make sure whoever is putting things in your brain, and your team brain is the right person. You can agree or disagree with. I study with people that I do not agree with. Then still sloppy in the back of the head. But still, call them sir because I respect their work. I don't like the way they treat me. But this is not personal. It's to become the best I have and the best I can become. One of them is one of my biggest mentors. And he's from the Israeli government, and he slapped me on the face, and I even said hello. Why hello? I didn't tell you I have a good day like, dude, I just want to say hello, and he slapped me in the face. And after 15 years, I still call him sir. And I disagree with 90% of the things that he told me, but I have such respect for his work. That I shut up and go for it in my personal opinion, I take it on my personal life. Makes sense what I'm saying?

Doug Holt 25:07

Yeah, being an eternal student is what you're doing and respecting those who have come before you and are putting out the research and the work. And the talent and then also, if you're feeding your brain, make sure you're feeding it with good food, so to speak. Make sure you know what kind of diet you're on if you will.

Susan Ibitz 25:25

The brain diet is important, too; what you put in your brain, your brain has a certain amount of capacity. So when you want to put in your brain, make sure if you're going to take the time to read a book, do a little research about what you are going to read. It's nothing I don't want to give names. I don't have any problem, and I can give you a list of names of people that I can recommend to talk to. It's like, not all the coaches are on the same path, and has to do with your path that I can give you a minute once appeared. This dude is here, like hardcore negotiation. Can you follow it? No. So start with Lena Cisco. She digested she was one internal interrogator. Do you need to be an interrogator on the level? No, you just need to know what your customer is saying. So go with Joe Navarro, who makes it really digestible. I never met Joe, but he has 16 books out there. So has to do what you want to conquer. Do you want to be a human behavior hacker? You want to be a polygraph interrogator or just better communicate with the people you have in front of you depends on what you're looking for.

Doug Holt 26:31

I love it. Love it, love it, love it. And you had mentioned that you're going to be writing the student's webinar. But you also mentioned you're doing a lot of your posts on LinkedIn. Is that a good place for people to follow you and learn more information about what you're studying? And I have a feeling you're probably putting some fun stuff out there from getting to know you a little bit as well.

Susan Ibitz 26:50

Tomorrow I'm going to put a really fun one; I just put in a video about people laughing. And I'm doing a social experiment. And I asked you to watch that video for seven days. And after that, tell me if your oxytocin gets elevated, and you feel more a prompt because the handshake is equal 50% of the interaction is going to have in their perception are going to have about you. So handshake is equal to three hours of interaction. So we don't have that chance. So we found out with the team. I love my team; please don't leave me. I'm going to kill myself. That oxytocin happens when we are smiling, so we are looking for all this video when people smile? So that social experiment is like, what about if I give you this video and you smile for seven days? Tell me if you feel better, and you open your videos better. So yeah, LinkedIn is the place where I fight with people, but my posts, and do the social experiments like yeah, we search, teach, and learn. So we as a lab are still on the path of learning. Because if you stop learning, like, what is the meetup, out there?

Doug Holt 28:04

I'm with you. 100% I'm a lifelong learner. Have you found I know a lot of coaches talk about marketing and things of that nature? And I know it's not your specialty, but you've been very good at it. At least it seems from an observer standpoint. Maybe it's just natural for you, but you are good at it, and I have a marketing background. So have you found LinkedIn to be a good place to have interactions?

Susan Ibitz 28:30

First of all, I cannot sell myself; even my life depends on it. I have a call before you, and with a big competence you're gonna like, we're going to hire you to sell steam like do you understand that I am clueless about how to sell and how you become some good training salespeople because I teach you how to read people how to use science, geeky things but selling. I need to give you my kidney in exchange to acquire it because I don't know how to negotiate that. I have really good coaches. I have somebody who is helping me with the science of marketing. I read a set guardian all the time. I think we have the same; I was funny. I had it before he has it; he's more famous. So he's come up with that. I have my style coach, I have my marketing coach, and I have people that I learn every time I have one hour a week with me. I have seven coaches and different things.

One of them is Saturday Sanders, and they like to slap me on the back of my head. I do my homework. And all of them say LinkedIn is really good for professional relationships. Personally, we put on Twitter, it doesn't work. It's great for users, but it doesn't work for the professional part. Instagram, maybe you can pick somebody then most of the artistic part, so when we have classes on something funny, we put it on Instagram. But we found out, and we have our private group on Facebook, we have our, our open Facebook, we have LinkedIn, those are the three places. So when we have webinars every Wednesday at 2 pm, now we have the last process of approval of the LinkedIn stream. So we're going to be streaming our content live on LinkedIn. But if it's not, we stream our things. We have a Facebook and Facebook private group. Why? Because when you are teaching something to someone, it's somebody that is new information. They're afraid and ashamed to make mistakes.

So if you don't do a private group, people are going to be afraid to show themselves and make mistakes. So if you have coaching that is correlating to different things that you do in the same way, I would just try to make this a small Facebook group when people fail, emotionally safe, people attack you, I've been attacked for saying like, "Oh, I think deception detection, just go to the left." And everyone like, "No, she'll go to the right" and like, really, really offensive things only because they would disagree. And like, one of the beautiful things in life is to get from everybody different things without being irrational without being hurtful. And that's one of the reasons we create the private group. So you feel emotionally safe. Because I've been in that place when they slapped me in a two-man up in reply in a professional way when I want to tell you like, beep, beep, beep.

Doug Holt 31:42

That was fantastic. So there's a couple of things I want to unpack here. Because you said a lot of great things, but I'll take a couple only for this one. One is seven coaches, right? And something that as someone who's been coaching as long as I have, I've always had a coach in my corner before I started coaching. And I've noticed throughout my career, and my specialty is business owners and CEOs. And all the top CEOs that I've met throughout my time always have at least one if not more coaches in their corner, right? The ones that you meet that aren't successful but have a lot of excuses. They don't need a coach. It's the ones that are always rising. When you look behind the curtain, they always have multiple people. And it's their support team. As you said, it's always; you're always learning, you are always growing.

Susan Ibitz 32:32

I have seven coaches, just to be clear. I've been doing this for 20 years. And I have seven private coaches and mentors that I talk to every week, and they still slap me on the head. And when they get tired of me and look for another one. So whoever says there isn't anything to learn. You do it, and you get to them, build a cabin, and retire from the wall. Because you didn't have it. You didn't learn anything. Suppose you think that you know everything. That's your biggest problem. Don't you think that was one of the biggest conflicts when you talk to us? They are like, "I need you. I know everything," I am like, "Really?"

Doug Holt 33:09

Yeah, well, I mean, it's what I call the teenage phase. I'm always surprised when I meet newer coaches, newer to me being less than five years in the field are consultants, and they don't have somebody in their corner. It's almost like not eating your own cooking. You say that coaching is so important. It's or to be like a fitness professional, a personal trainer who also doesn't believe in working out.

Susan Ibitz 33:35

If you have a belly and you're my training, I'm going to be really suspicious. I'm Jewish, so I'm out of that place. Totally we don't sweat. I think we have only one Jewish person winning all the Olympics besides that. Our thing is like science, Nobel Prize, so I'm out of that. But if you are my personal trainer, and you have a belly, you're my coach, and you haven't read a book in two years. What I am telling you, Doug, tell me you're a CEO. You get your career like going through against the water, but with knowledge. What is telling you? Come on.

Doug Holt 34:09

Oh, yeah, it's absolutely not the right way to go. I mean, come on. It's ridiculous. By the way, I have a good friend who's one of the most world-renowned fitness professionals who is out in Brooklyn, New York. He happens to be Jewish. I'll have to connect you guys.

Susan Ibitz 34:24

That is an anomaly we need to know about the guy that's an anomaly in genetics.

Doug Holt 34:29

Yeah. He's an amazing guy. You love them. You guys love each other. He's awesome and then something else that you had mentioned as you were talking about that, and your journey going through it is not only do you have those coaches, but they're disciplining you, and you're taking it on where it's so easy for people. In my experiences, I'll hire a coach or take an online course. And they don't do anything with the action. They don't actually take action for it, or they criticize the coach themselves—someone who's been in a career for as long as you have. You said over 20 years, and you're still learning.

Susan Ibitz 35:08

you're making me feel really old.

Doug Holt 35:13

You're still learning; you're constantly growing. And I think that's a really important thing for coaches to realize is if you're going to hire somebody, or you're going to listen to a show like this or anything else, you want to be able to take action and the moment of insight and if you get any insight to take action and be direct with it.

Susan Ibitz 35:32

I'm doing three certifications. I found out that I did a certification six years ago, and I couldn't find the diploma, and the people couldn't find it in my diploma either. So I need to do the certification again. Funny. Never let your computer clock during the night because it burned out, and all your information burned. Now I need to do my body language certification again. I'm doing two more certifications this year; I found the highest achiever on face rain. She's retired, that again. How long do I talk to her until she teaches me that she's a retiring Australian? Okay, stop writing to me. Stop sending people to talk about you. Because that way does negotiations surround people. So I met everybody who knows what that person says. Can you write to her too? So she coached me like, Okay, stop it. Don't send any more people.

I got to coach you to shut up. Great, thank you. So do two or more certifications. What I'm saying is, first of all, you never stop learning. I learned from my neighbor next door that I'm living in half an acre, and I always give the same example, but I think she is likely to translate it to anything in life. He told me like, and you don't like to cut the grass like, no, it's 10 inches high. Like, let the grass die. implant golf grass is only growing one inch. Since July last year. I haven't cut my grass. Why? Because everybody knows something that you don't know. Yes. So I am never going to stop learning in my right hand, and I love her. She met her three years ago. And when I met her, she was a stay at home mom raising two kids. Now she's my business partner and CEO of our Latin American office. And I think she's going to be my boss in like, a year or so. She's amazing. And we always talk about the same, and you need to be learning from other people, you 're always somebody who's an expert in something that you don't know, the day you start, stop learning, you stop wanting to be curious. Do you know that McKenzie says curiosity and imagination are going to be the neatest skills in 2020-2030?

Why? What makes you different between you and me? What do you apply for? how do you apply it? Let's put in I have a keynote speaker that people love, are you a toaster and people like what? What is the difference between this toaster in this one? Besides the mind as that they are their toaster? It's the design, how you design your platform, we can be teaching the same. But if I teach you in a way that we stimulate dopamine in your brain. laughing stimulates oxytocin in your brain; I take the stress of learning. So we know a little we're outside the box. It's great. You're not for everyone. I have people who are completely corporate America who are not going to sneeze outside the box. Me, I'm all over the place. But you know what, make me different. be different, be unique. Get your own turf; make sure that you're good at what you do. You don't try to fit in all the boxes, don't try to meet everybody's expectations, and choose your customers. It's happened to me. This time, I talked to my team and said, guys, we need to fire this fine. Like we need to find the client does not for us, and we're not for them. And this is our relationship. And in 20 years, I still have a relationship with customers. They're referring me mouth to mouth because we have the right partnership. So I do understand the situation that we go into today that everybody's desperate for. I have a paycheck that can cost you really hard in six months because it wasn't the client who is going to be complaints is going to complain about the media. money back. People are not going to be happy.

What you teach is your prof; you're good and something that I'm not. I think my accountant is a magician. And he looked at me like, Are you nuts like no, I don't know how to make a check. I send the checks to him, sign it, and he'd write it. I don't know how to write a check. Forgot almost 50 notes, no idea how to write a check. And he does it for me. So what I'm saying is everybody's somebody special in what you do? So make sure that whatever you do, try to be the best. That is your name. That is your craft. That is your legacy. Never be so cocky thinking, Oh, I know everything kind of like, No, you have to learn from your students, even from your clients, you're going to learn from the person on the supermarket, you're going to learn from the person who's cleaning your car, be open to them because I use in my training, things that I learned from my garden, things that I learned from the guy who fixes my plumbing last month. the guy who built my studio in my house here, ever more things? I did not know, the 132 shades of white? That something I learned? So when you want to make a studio, the shade of white needs to have X amount of grade, X amount of shine, X amount of white. I didn't know that now I know it is 13 shades of white. Do you see the learning?

Doug Holt 41:01

There we go. Now I got something new. And probably some of our listeners do too.

Susan Ibitz 41:05

It's not going to change your life. But definitely, if you want to make a studio in your house is something that you need to learn about.

Doug Holt 41:11

I'm building a new home office. So this is for the recording studio.

Susan Ibitz 41:16

I can send you to my guy. He knows a lot about it.

Doug Holt 41:18

All right, well, I'll get his name offline with you. Well, Susan, I want to honor and respect your time; you've been amazing; I definitely want to have you back and continue the conversation. But obviously, people can go to HumanBehaviorLab.com. So that's HumanBehaviorLab.com. It's on my list now of courses that I'm going to be adding that to my list of things to take and look at. And for those that want to learn more about you, your work, and follow you. What are the best places?

Susan Ibitz 41:45

Google us as Susan Ibitz. I'm not the company and the name which becomes talking about marketing. We tried to market the company for two years to get work. As soon as we change the name of the company to My name, it's happening. So people like to follow people. So you can google me, Susan Ibitz, on any browser. And again, it's not me. It's a bunch of people who work really late at night. We are HumanBehaviorLab.com. This is our consulting company. And the second one is the one you mentioned is HumanBehaviorLab.com. The reason for that name is because people say, oh, I want to be a human behavior hacker. So like, yeah, let's put it out there. So we are teaching things that nobody else is teaching about. We talk about human behavior, face reading, we have hostage negotiator like really hardcore people teaching things that you can use, even when you negotiate in like to wash your car you can use in any part of your life.

Doug Holt 42:50

Well, that's definitely like I said, it's going to be on my list of courses to check out, and I'll let everybody else know when I end up doing that. But we can do it together, and a little bit, I'm about to get into going negotiate with a three-year-old.

Susan Ibitz 43:03

One of the questions that I do every time when I interview a hostage negotiator says, what is easy to negotiate somebody to don't kill someone and leave a bank or your wife? Or is it to negotiate if somebody doesn't kill someone? My wife? No problem. It is not going to happen. So good luck with that, because I prefer to be in a hostage negotiator with somebody who has a gun to somebody that's three years old. So my blessing. Good luck with that, Doug.

Doug Holt 43:31

All right. Thank you so much. And thank you again for being here. Thank you for joining us at The Successful Coach podcast. Please hit like and subscribe so we can bring you more great interviews like these. Until next time, have an amazing day.

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